Change

– Orville

Orville shook his head. The Professor’s right, he thought. Bumpy’s still such a birdling. What’s he doing listening to a guest lecturer anyway? It’s not like there’s a file at the end. And about flight of all things! He should be eyeing off Bobbi, trying to get noticed. Debut’s less than a moon away.

He looked over at the henlings, trying to spot Bobbi. She seemed engrossed in conversation with Amy. They shared a giggle and Bobbi slapped a wingtip over her beak; clearly they were saying exactly what he was thinking.

He tuned back in to the lecture briefly.

“So,” the Professor was saying. “Can anybird tell me the first step to intelligence?” Orville made an unconscious move to stop Bumpy putting up a wing, but Bert was already answering.

“It’s our opposable claws,” Bert said with confidence.

“And what’s your name?”

“Bert Black, ma’am.”

“Now, Bert. Why would you think opposable claws were any good?” the Professor asked. “Opposable anything’s just going to get in the way. Look at the apes. If it wasn’t for their need to grab everything, they’d have discovered true intelligence instead of ways to destroy themselves.

“Flight!” she reiterated. This time even Orville couldn’t stop himself from jumping.

Bumpy’s wing went up. Orville nudged him.

The Professor continued. “Any species developing it must have some semblance of intelligence.”

Bumpy forced his wing up higher. Orville nudged him harder.

Professor Louis sighed. “Yes, Felix P-for-nothing Brown?”

“What about bats, Professor? And fish, frogs, possums, lizards—”

“What about them, Felix P Brown?”

“Well, we don’t seem to think they’re very smart. But they all have fliers in their family trees.”

“If you’ll let me finish…” the Professor sighed.

“Stop it!” Orville whispered to Bumpy.

“Stop what?”

“Asking questions! We want to get out of here before lunch. Honestly, Bumpy, how do you expect me to help you if you can’t even help yourself?”

Bumpy sighed. His wings drooped.

“And sit up straight. No hen wants a cock without a backbone.” Orville looked over at the henlings. “Oh my hawk!” He whispered harshly. “She’s looking at you. Look,” he covered his beak with one wing and tried not to point with the other.

Bumpy glanced briefly but didn’t seem interested.

“Wait,” Orville joked. “Let me see, have you got a worm on your beak?!”

“Whatever,” Bumpy said, wiping his beak as though he didn’t understand humour. At least he glanced over though.

“Not that one,” Orville helped his friend again. “Bobbi.” But Bumpy was frozen, staring. Orville waved a wing in front of his eyes but he didn’t even blink. Probably off with the curlews again. It was Orville’s turn to sigh. He gave up and tuned in to the lecture to see if it had gotten interesting. The Professor appeared to be countering something else Bert had raised.

“So a koala,” the Professor said, “using its opposable claws to hang on and sleep longer just strengthens my argument.” Her answer seemed to satisfy Bert so she went on. “In summary, from Archaeopteryx, to Xiaotingia, even back to Eokainos, we birds have ruled the skies, dominated intelligence, regulated evolution, and held the destinies of every living thing on this planet in our wings.”

Orville’s friends clapped and cheered, some of them even standing. Orville joined in the clapping out of politeness but really, cheering? They kept it up while the Professor bowed, smiled, and thanked Ms Stormfeather; even keeping it up as she flew away. Not until Ms reminded them all that today was D Day did they finally stop. Mid clap.

“Errrr…” Douglas Douglas tried.

“W…w…w…” Wilbur started.

“Nnnngh,” Bert managed.

Bumpy was still staring into space, drool spilling from his beak.

“Bumpy. Bumpy. Hey, BUMPY!”

“What?” Bumpy’s eyes snapped into focus. “Why are you yelling?”

“What planet are you on? You’ve just been staring into space for the last hour.”

“What? I have not…”

Bumpy looked around. Orville saw him register Igor talking to Ms, and flinch when he saw the cocklings milling about aimlessly. Presumably he even noticed the Professor was gone.

“Errr…what’s…” He looked over at the henlings, and his eyes glazed again.

“Bumpy! You’re doing it again. Come on.” Orville dragged his friend towards them.

Bumpy shook Orville off. “What are you doing?”

“We have to talk to them.”

“The henlings?! No way!”

Orville rolled his head. “It’s date day. We have to.”

“It’s what?”

“I told you yesterday. Ms’s been telling us all week. Now come on. Before we start to look really stupid. Bobbi’s just over there.”

This time Bumpy didn’t even try to look where Orville pointed.