Paradise Gained

– Felix

Felix felt his wings droop when Orville told him off for asking questions.

What was the point of trying any more? The curlews didn’t want him, the professor thought he was an idiot, and Orville was nattering in his ear. Ok, Orville always nattered, but it still hurt. The only thing going his way was winning a bet, but even that was cold comfort. If he couldn’t fly to—

He drooped lower. He glanced over where Orville told him to look and tried to change the subject in his brain. What was wrong with his questions about non-avian flyers? That galah could have had answers for him. Could have told him about inver-thingies and deciles. But instead she had to be offended by his name. His name for hawk’s sake!

“Wait,” Orville’s voice filtered through. Just by the way he said it Felix knew he must have done something stupid again. “Let me see, have you got a worm on your beak?!”

Felix wiped at it, and before he could stop himself, looked to where Orville was pointing again.

And froze! Oh hawk! Look at her! She’s beautiful. How had he not noticed her before? The henling sitting next to Durba, holding herself with grace, her white parts so pure, so perfect and clean. She lifted her wings as she settled, revealing her soft and luxurious underwing panels. The world went still and quiet. Even the seagulls stopped squawking and the lorikeets stopped gossiping. Suddenly the world made perfect sense! He could quite happily settle in and stare at her for hours: the way she warbled to her friends, the cute way she tucked her neck down when she listened, the funny way she tossed her head to one side when she swallowed a beetle—

“HEY! BUMPY!”

“What?” Bumpy’s eyes snapped into focus. “Why are you yelling?”

“What planet are you on? You’ve just been staring into space for the last hour.”

“What? I have not…” He glanced around. What was everyone doing? Where was the Professor? Oh no, he thought. Have I done it again? “Errr…what’s…”

He made the mistake of looking her way again. Where had she come from? And when? She was looking right at him now. He stared at the soft white feathers of her neck, so delicate, so perfect. Maybe she spent time fanning them that way—

Without warning, Orville latched onto his arm and forcibly dragged him. Felix shook him off and turned to his friend. “What are you doing?”

“It’s date day,” Orville snapped at him. “We have to.”

“It’s what?”

All of a sudden Felix found it impossible to breathe. How could he ask her on a practice date? What if she said no? I couldn’t bear to never see her again. On the other wing, what if she flew away while he wasn’t looking? I couldn’t bear to never see her again then either.

Felix’s knees buckled and his stomach churned. This was even worse than leaving the tree this morning. Way worse. Logarithmically worse. The pounding heart, the red-tinged vision, the tingle in his feet and the cold sweat on his wingtips…that was nothing compared to the churning, the urge to fly to her, to run from her, to sing with joy, to cry with fear and pain. If this is what love feels like, how can I ever feel anything else again? He could even hear the beginnings of that awful high-pitched near-death sound. He resisted the urge to rock and sway and fold into the egg position.

And then he stupidly looked into her eyes a third time. Those deep, dark, sparkling gravity wells. She was drawing him in, making him lose himself. He might never escape, and he didn’t care. He was lost already. Forever. How could he have missed those incredible lores? He stared until she looked away.

“Wait!” he tried to say. “You’re beautiful and I want to know your name. I want to make you feel like I feel when you look at me. Like the morning is perfect. Let me compare thee to the smell of chips cooking at Bar Beach, or of freshly cut grass wafting on the breeze. You are more wondrous than the sound of worms turning in fresh, loamy earth.” But his beak wouldn’t open. He stared at her retreating tail as she waddled away. Watched the way her perfect feathers fluttered in the breeze. Willed her to turn around and come back to him. Willed his beak to open. Anything.

Orville’s voice brought him back and the day lost some of its colour. “That’s a great idea,” Orville said. “You can practice on Amelia, then when you ask Bobbi for real you won’t be as beak-tied.”

Felix blinked. “Who?”

“Amelia. Don’t tell me you didn’t see her, you were staring right at her.”

“That’s Amelia?”

“Didn’t you recognise her?”

“My Amelia?”

Orville rolled his head. “Well, go and ask her!”

“Amelia…Amelia…I like the feel her name makes in my beak.”

“Hello? Earth to Bumpy? Go and ask her. Quick. Before she flies away.”

“Did you see her feet?”

“What?”

“They were so black, and scaly,” he said, and his body warmed and tingled further.

“Then go and ask her!”

“But…but…”

“Please don’t start ranting about your migration again!”

Felix’s wings drooped. “Not that…but…it’s all so sudden. I don’t know…I don’t know what to say.”

But Orville didn’t answer.

“Orville?” Felix looked at his friend. “Orville?” He followed his gaze and noticed Durba waddling towards them.

“Hi,” she said, batting her third eyelids at a dazed Orville.

Felix rolled his head and was thinking of something smart to say when a voice interrupted.

“Excuse me,” it said.

Felix turned and was startled to see a stranger standing next to him. And yet…he was…familiar, even though he was positive he’d never seen him before, he was positive. Felix looked him up and down and noticed the bottlecap on his breast. Realization kicked in. He rushed to defend himself.

“Err…” he told the Capper. “I wasn’t really sleeping through the lecture. Honest. I mean—”

The Capper beaked a grin. He was tall, Felix noticed, and stood straight. He gave off an air of relaxed assuredness, a confidence Felix wished he had even a nanogram of. He adjusted his own stance to stand as straight as he could.

The Capper extended a wing. “Officer Friendly,” he said. Felix stared. “I take it you’re Felix P Brown?”

“You know my name?!” Felix took a step back. What had Ms Stormfeather said?

“Relax,” the Capper said, withdrawing his unshaken wing, and then, as though reading his mind, he added, “Ms Stormfeather said nothing. I just have a message for you.”

“A message? What kind of a—oh! The curlews!”

Officer Friendly grinned. “I forgot you’re not much of a listener. Listen, I don’t have a lot of time, but this is the most important thing you will ever—”

“Oh!” Felix leaned forward. “It’s the curlews’ secret, isn’t it? The bit I missed on Friday?”

Officer Friendly sighed. Felix was so excited he missed the next few words.

“…so just walk up to her and introduce yourself,” Friendly finished.

“Oh,” Felix thought of Amelia again. He felt his wings rising but the Capper clicked his primaries in his face.

“Go,” the Capper said.

“But…but I’ve never done anything like this before! I don’t know what to do! What will I say to her?”

“Look,” Friendly said firmly. “Do you want to migrate or what?”

Felix opened his beak but nothing came out so he closed it again.

“You know you do. You’ve always wanted to. Even a blind booby knows that. And this is how I found…errrr…this is…” a strange, almost deceitful look crossed Friendly’s beak but before Felix could put his primary on exactly what it was, the look became open and honest again. “This is the most direct route.”

Felix looked askance. “The direct route to migrating is to settle down and have eggs with Amelia?”

The Capper winced uncomfortably. “No,” he smiled miserably. “It’s to walk up to Amelia and say, ‘Hi, I’m Felix. Can I take you out on a date?’”

“I don’t get it.”

“Hens,” Friendly said with a roll of the head that said maybe he knew a thing or two about them. “This one in particular. She’ll toughen you up, boost your confidence.”

“But I don’t see the link,” Felix said thoughtfully. “What if she says no?”

“She’s not going to say no. It’s date day.”

“Why should I trust you?”

“Don’t trust me—trust Ms. It’s the rules of date day.”

“I meant why should I do what you say?”

“Because I’m a Capper?”

Felix heard the Capper’s uncertainty and remembered a painful conversation from yesterday. “Are you sure?” He asked sarcastically.

“Look,” the Capper glanced at the sun. “Everything will be…ok…it’s how things are meant to happen, ok? It’s going to hurt,” Friendly shuddered. “Oh hawk it’s going to hurt,” he added in a mutter. “But it’s the biggest crossroute of your life. Even though you’ll regret it, and probably hate me for a very long time, you have to do it.”

“What are you?” Felix scoffed. “A T1000 come back to stop me saving the world?”

“Yes, Felix,” Officer Friendly stiffened his stance and jerked his wings in time with a monotone reply: “That’s exactly what I am,” before softening, and shaking his head. “No, I’m not some kind of robot. Or android,” he added, raising his wings in the classical stop-talking sign as Felix opened his beak to object. “Let’s just say I’ve been keeping a side-eye on you. Go on. Go win her over with your charm and open with a joke.”

Felix, puffing at what he figured was a compliment, didn’t notice the Capper’s cynical tone, so he didn’t hear Friendly mutter under his breath. “Lucky this isn’t what you want.”

Maybe it was easy, Felix thought. Maybe he should just use his charm. And anyway, if he could have Amelia and migrate…what was there to lose? Without another thought for the Capper, he took the single biggest risk of his life—allegedly—and one deep breath and four long strides to stand in front of this impossibly beautiful henling who’d promised him her heart way back on Fledging Day.

He opened his beak.

“Hello, Bumpy,” she said first.

His heart leapt into his throat. His wings tingled all the way to his flight feathers, his claws curled into the grass, hanging on to a world tumbling away beneath him. He resisted the urge to scream in terror.

“Errrr…” He stuttered eloquently to her feet instead. “Errr…” He struggled to think of something funny and charming. “You must be the square root of two,” he grinned. “Cos I feel irrational around you.”

Amelia didn’t flinch.

Obviously they had a dislike of maths in common. “Err…my love for you is like a fractal?” He tried again. “Cos it goes on forever?”

This time she at least raised an eyestripe.

Felix felt his wings rising. He cleared his throat. “I was wondering if errrr…you’d like to come to the park with me?”

Her beak moved, but Felix didn’t hear what she said. He was struck by the way her fine eyelash feathers fluttered as she spoke.

“I’m…errr…sorry?” he asked.

“I said, I’d like that very much.”